Apologies for the emo-ness

Found something out today that made me feel real depressed. Sent me on what the psychobabblers would probably call a “depression-cycle” at uni. Couldn’t concentrate on my work and really couldn’t my mind on tonights game either. Started having all these thoughts. What if I don’t pass this uni year? This is pretty much my last chance at making something of myself and doing something other than low-paid admin jobs for the rest of my life. If I fail, I’ve not only let myself down, but my family too. I really don’t know what I’d do if I failed, it’d probably be something really stupid.

On the way home I started to think whether I would, you know, “take the cowards way out” and if I did, how I’d go about doing it. That just made me feel even worse.

The worse thing is, I’m not sure if there’s anyone I can talk to about it. I really suck at talking about serious stuff to people, especially people I know. I’d just feel really embarrassed and self-concious about talking about it, and that would be to strangers. I’d find it impossible to talk about stuff like this to people who know me. And I just realised that I don’t know any of my friends well enough to talk about this to them. Or even if I;d want to (but that down to fear I guess). That’s just made me feel even worse.

So here I am, spilling my guts to the anonymous electronic ether. What a wuss.

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About blaster219

Suspect is a Caucasian male, approximately 5'7" in height with blue eyes and brown hair. Last known place of residence in Manchester, UK WARNING: Suspect is in possession of number of swords, knives, firearms and other weaponry as well as body armour. He should be considered armed and dangerous.

Posted on Tuesday, February 10, 2009, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Just dropping by.Btw, you website have great content!

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