Buffonian Rhapsody

(To the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen)
This is a weird life
It’s my reality
Slaughtering vampires
For the sake of humanity
Somebody dies, a vampire will rise, you’ll see……..

Merrick first told me this was my destiny. He said:
“Chosen One, play your part.
Knock ’em down. Stake the heart.

Any way you slay them doesn’t really matter to me……Buffy.”
Xander, just slain a vamp
Put a stake into his chest

Now he’s dusted like the rest
Xander, we were having fun
But now I’ve gotta go out on the slay.
Xander, ooh…ooh
I’m the Chosen One
If I’m not back again this time tomorrow, carry on, while I’m gone

And pretend your name is Nighthawk.
Tonight, the end will come
The Codex never lies, says tonight I’m gonna die
Goodbye to you, Willow
I’ve got to go
Why did Giles and Angel try to hide the truth?
Xander, ooh…ooh
I don’t wanna die

I sometimes wish I wasn’t the Slayer at all!
Angel’s been knockin’ off Drusilla on the side
Scary moose! Scary moose! Better watch where her fangs go…
Don’t let any light in. Careful where you’re biting me!
Cordelia! (Cordelia…)
Cordelia! (Cordelia…)
This is Angel, say hello

(She wants him so, oh no, oh no…)
I’m just a good vampire, Buffy loves me
(Sure you’re a good vamp, killed your own family
Brings a new meaning to “Mum’s here for tea”)
That was fun. Didn’t know

That I’d get a soul.
Drusilla! No! Please let our Xander go
Let him go, Drusilla!
Oh do let Xander go
Let him go, Drusilla!
(I will not let him go)
Let him go!
(Want to bite him though)

Never never ever let him go, oh no, no, no, no, no, no, d’oh!
Oh Cordelia, Cordelia
Cordy please let Angel go
Cordelia, will you leave the guy alone now please?
Now, please?

Now, please!
So you thought the Anointed would lead me to hell?
So I’m dead? Well I’m back and I’m pretty as well!

Hey, Master!
I’ll destroy you, ya bastard!
You ruined my dress

I’m whippin’ your ass now, oh yeah….
Ooh yeah, ooh yeah…..
Vampires, ghosts and demons
Monsters from the sea
Nothing stops the Slayer

Nothing ever stops our Buffy.
Oz is in the Dingoes…….!


About blaster219

Suspect is a Caucasian male, approximately 5'7" in height with blue eyes and brown hair. Last known place of residence in Manchester, UK WARNING: Suspect is in possession of number of swords, knives, firearms and other weaponry as well as body armour. He should be considered armed and dangerous.

Posted on Friday, October 27, 2006, in Buffy RPG. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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